It is time for you to change things

Hello, and thank you for reading! This is my first post on Beehiiv. I’m leaving Substack for political reasons. 

If you have a Substack, I’m going to encourage you to do the same. And whether or not you use the platform, I’m going to make another request of you, which you might not like. More on that in a minute. First, I have a story.

From 2014 to 2016, I co-ran a live, weekly variety show. It was a comedy-edutainment show, hosted in the backyard of a bookstore in Phoenix, Arizona, and it was what I most looked forward to every week. We were gearing up for our third “season” when a surge of accusations hit social media. A number of people came forward with evidence that the owner of the bookstore, who was in his 30s, had harassed and assaulted young women in the community, physically abused his partners, and groomed underage girls. Let’s call him Darren.

My co-host and I discontinued the show, quickly. But even though we did—even though we encouraged other showrunners at the venue to do the same—I had a bad, icky, strangely guilty feeling. I hadn’t known he was doing something wrong. Had I? No one had told me, “Darren is not safe.” He had only ever treated me with respect. He never hugged me too long, he never tried to give me alcohol or drugs, he complimented my outfits but never my body. 

Still, I had noticed things. 

A lot of different age groups shopped at the store; all the women and girls who worked there were 22 or younger. Darren trained them all. Women my age, my 18- and 19-year-old peers from college, would work at the store, but after they quit, they never came back for events, or even to shop. When I hosted a poetry slam at the bookstore, and much-older men said sexual things about me in their poems or from the audience, Darren told them that wasn’t okay. But he still let them come back to the bookstore. And he still put them back onstage.

I noticed things, and I told myself those things were meaningless. It was not the first or last time I learned that a friend who I trusted was hiding abusive behavior from me. 

The reason I didn’t know is because he was hiding it, on purpose. That didn’t really “click” until much later.

Here’s the part of the story that most stuck with me:

After my co-host and I announced we would end our show, and publicly distanced ourselves from Darren, a lot of people reached out to me to ask for more details. A lot of people reached out to offer support and ideas for the show. And a handful of people—some friends, some acquaintances, but all people who I considered myself to have good relationships with—reached out to express relief. Darren had also hurt them, but up until that very moment, where I publicly denounced him, they hadn’t felt like they could talk to me. Up until that moment, they explained, they thought there was a chance I wouldn’t believe them, or that I would believe them and not care. 

They knew I was close to Darren, and they thought that closeness meant I would disregard their experiences. People in my life, who I cared about, expected me not to care about their well-being, because of how closely I’d aligned myself with a specific public platform and person. 

A couple of them even admitted that, when they saw that Darren treated me kindly, and never did anything inappropriate to me, they felt like that they deserved the abuse they experienced. They assumed I acted differently, in some way, and “earned” the preferential, positive treatment I received. He treated me well to cover up his abuse of others. He used me to cover up his own bad behavior. I ignored all my bad gut feelings, and in doing so, I allowed other people to continue getting hurt.

No matter how much of an “outspoken feminist” I was, no matter how many diverse comedians I platformed, no matter how good I was in the Vagina Monologues that year, people in my life assumed I would side with an abuser, because for years, my brand was linked to that abuser.

This story is true, and it’s also an analogy. Let’s talk about Substack.

Back in 2023, the “Substack users against Nazis” movement started gaining traction. It started when a spate of news orgs reported on the presence of Nazi and white nationalist ideology on Substack. Blogs that proudly used swastika imagery and labeled themselves as part of the modern Nazi movement. Many of these accounts were monetized, making money via Substack, and even those which weren’t contributed to Substack’s growth, the platform’s monetization. A long list of influential Substack authors asked Substack leadership to denounce and remove the Nazi authors. Substack leadership basically said “Eh…that’s not our problem!”

At that time, I was very, very committed to staying on Substack. This was a holdover habit from the comedy and DIY music scenes. When Nazis or abusers or sexual predators came to your show, or your venue, you told them to get the fuck out and never come back. You condemned them, and removed them, loudly. You did not cede your space, unless you had to; you did not cede the stage to the person in the wrong unless they owned the stage. Like Darren did. 

I have to admit, I had a chip on my shoulder, probably, in large part, because of those prior experiences. 

I considered Substack my territory, my friends’ and my fellow writers’ territory. I shouldn’t have to leave. The Nazis should leave, because they were fucking Nazis!

But comedy and music happen in real life. The Internet happens on the Internet, and on the Internet, the people who run the tech set the value system.

So, stubbornly, I stayed on Substack. I lost some readers who didn’t want to use Substack at all anymore, and I understood, supported and appreciated that decision. I felt confident that, in time, the small contingent of “problematic” accounts would fall away, and those users would find some other cesspool to spread their rhetoric.

I was wrong, pretty significantly wrong, as I learned earlier this week. The accounts which spread Nazi ideology grew in number; the dog-whistley ones which spread misinformation or vaguely white-supremacy-flavored rhetoric grew less coded. What is worse is that Substack rewarded these accounts, advertising them to users based on “high engagement.” Substack users who had never engaged with this content received push notifications, encouraging them to check out white supremacist blogs; the notifications included swastikas and offensive, derogatory language about Jewish people. This was first reported in August, and I didn’t hear a thing about it until January 2026. You can read more about it here. 

At this point, it’s clear to me that Substack is eager to platform and promote Nazi ideology, whether it “agrees” with the ideology or not. Substack has built its platform in a way that allows Nazis to spread hateful rhetoric; it’s built its recommendation algorithm in a way that rewards that hate and tries to recruit new believers. So, this is my last post on Substack (to explain the move and encourage others to leave). It’s also my first one on Beehiiv, which has taken a very vocal anti-Nazi stance. If that changes, then I’ll leave Beehiiv too.

I know making a big post like this probably sounds like “virtue signaling.” That’s because it is. I am signaling that my virtues are not the virtues which give voice to Nazi ideology. I’m making a big cringey fuss about it, too, so other writers will see it, and leave Substack. It’s actually not a huge pain in the ass at all—search “Substack to Beehiiv migration guide” and you will get step-by-step instructions. It took me maybe 15 minutes.

Before I move on to my next topic, and my next ask, I have another story. It’s about allowing specific ideology on social media and publishing platforms like Substack. 

Free speech is important. And, we need to deplatform Nazis and white supremacists, as much as we can. Not because they won’t still find each other—they will!—but because these platforms are used for recruiting and radicalization.

For much of my teens and early twenties, I had an eating disorder. When I was young, I knew what eating disorders (EDs) were from movies and TV and books, but I didn’t really know anyone who had one. Curious, I searched online for a few terms I’d heard in the media. I found communities, on Tumblr and Pinterest and on message boards, which were wholly dedicated to the proliferation and practice of EDs.

This is something I don’t see talked about a lot: a lot of the language and behavior on the “pro-eating-disorder’ internet mirrors that on extremist message boards. After a mass shooting, when the news media reports on a shooter’s internet activity, I see strange echoes of the ED message boards. A lot of eerily similar phrases. The same feelings of despair, the same desperation. The same violence, directed differently. ED-focused social media encouraged me to be cruel and violent towards myself.

Like clockwork, though, after a period of time in an ED community, it would disappear from the internet. Tumblr would change its terms of service and remove the content, or Pinterest would add new safety guidelines that blocked my searches, or the forum that hosted a pro-ED space would receive enough public pressure that all the threads disappeared. Eventually, all the places I got my “fix” of pro-ED content disappeared, one by one. Eventually, I stopped putting in the effort to find new ones. Eventually, after a lot of work in therapy, I stopped seeking out pro-ED content, and because all my sources had been deplatformed, I didn’t run across it on accident, and relapse.

I was able to recover from my eating disorder, in part, because my sources of pro-ED ideology were deplatformed. I stopped treating myself with cruelty and violence when the cruel, violent language was removed from my online environment. 

Deplatforming works, and if you stay on Substack, you’re supporting a company that platforms Nazis. Please leave Substack.

One of the reasons I’ve been so behind on publishing my newsletter is because I’ve been grappling with my Bad Feeling about Substack for a while now. When I learned about Substack’s algorithm rewarding and amplifying hate speech, I knew it was time to leave for good.

But, also, I haven’t wanted to post my (usually fun, lighthearted, personal) newsletter right now. It feels morally wrong to say “Here’s all the makeup I bought in 2025!” when ICE and DHS action in the U.S. is doing widespread harm to our communities. I didn’t post a newsletter at all last week. I had some drafts ready to polish and send. I’d thought of drafting and posting a Friday Dispatch, or maybe a special Saturday edition. Then, on Saturday, while I was on my way to an all-day event, I saw a breaking news story about another shooting by ICE officers. The victim, I learned almost eight hours later, was Alex Pretti, who was shot multiple times by two different officers, while on the ground and surrounded by DHS/ICE agents. 

I don’t post on social media about political topics often. Not because I “want to stay away from politics,” but because social media is a terrible, terrible place for productive dialogue or information sharing, especially in regards to politics. Longform spaces, like a newsletter or blog, are marginally better. 

But what actually “works”—if we can call it that—what actually advances the goals of understanding and perspective-shifting, are conversations. And I really, really disagree with a piece of rhetoric I see on social media, which is to cut off people in your life because they voted for Trump, or because they support conservative candidates at all.

Let me be clear: I LOVE blocking strangers, or even just annoying acquaintances. Don’t get in a comment-section argument with some guy you met once, or a lady you went to school with and always liked but she’s really belligerent now. Don’t get in a DM fight with someone who wants to fight you. Block them! And anonymous accounts? ANY Reddit thread? Forget about it! Don’t waste your time or energy with those interactions.

But, also, don’t cut off the people in your life, your actual life, for how they voted. I’m sorry, but that’s not the way, you guys. 

And: don’t make a post that says, “If you voted for the ORANGE MAN, the CHEETO in CHIEF, you can go ahead and BLOCK ME because you’re DEAD to me!!!!!” Because, yes, even though you’re correct, you’re also being an asshole. My fellow leftist, I, too, was in the gifted program at my school. I, too, LOVE when people know I’m “right.” I also feel validated when I do that.

And, also, I’ve been tricked before. I’ve put my trust in a person who I thought had my best intentions, and I had to live with the shame when I learned he was hurting other people, and using my well-being as cover.

Let’s go back to Darren, the bookstore owner, for just a minute. It was not the first or last time I learned that a person who I trusted was hiding abusive behavior from me. The reason I didn’t know is because Darren was hiding it, on purpose. I know that in retrospect. He was able to trick me because he was trying to trick me. And, most people, most of the time, aren’t trying to trick you. Most people are trying to protect and support themselves and their families, in a world that is often difficult to navigate, and sometimes that does result in you getting screwed over. 

Other times, people are trying to trick you. Sometimes, those are people in positions of authority, who want to keep their power. That doesn’t mean “be suspicious of everyone all the time!” It means “be a little gentler with yourself, and explore the possibility of changing your mind.”

I’m saying this because a lot of people who have voted for conservative candidates in the last eight years were tricked, on purpose. You were told that voting for conservative candidates would keep your family safe, and protect the things you value. Or just that it would make your life easier! But, now, ICE agents are being deployed to American cities, they’re very poorly trained, and they are detaining, harming, killing and frightening large populations of people. 

ICE and DHS agents killed Alex Pretti, then, DHS leadership and right-wing officials said it was because he had a gun. He was allowed to have a gun—it’s in the Constitution. Maybe you voted conservative because you value this constitutional right. And, now, the president has made it clear that he cares about ICE having the ability to act, more than he cares about constitutional rights. He said Pretti “certainly shouldn't have been carrying a gun…You know, you can't have guns.”

I don’t really like the second amendment, and I don’t agree with the way it’s enforced. But the way it’s written is precisely to guard against the action ICE is taking—to guard against tyranny. If you think the second amendment is important and worth protecting,  you can protect it by working to end ICE deployment. That’s just one really specific, constitutional example of why this is wrong. By “this,” I mean the presence of ICE in our communities, and I mean a broad swath of actions taken by our federal government, and a lot of our state governments, too.

A lot of conservatives in my life feel betrayed by their federal government right now. Maybe that’s you, reading this. But maybe it’s your sister, or your in-law, or your neighbor, or your favorite teacher. You have been betrayed by this administration. You almost certainly know and love someone who feels betrayed by this administration.

And, my left-wing friends, my democrat and centrist friends, you probably know more conservatives than you think. You know more right-leaning people than you think. When you lead with derisive language, when you try to make people feel shame and guilt, you do not lead them to change. You push them to withdraw from you, and into the fear-centric language our administration loves so much. Right now, it’s easy to be consumed by your anger and your grief. When someone hurts you, deeply and seemingly without remorse, it makes sense that you want to cut them off. Being compassionate and remaining open sucks, and also, you have to do it. Not always, but most of the time. You need to have faith that people in your life are capable of changing for the better, and you have to keep the door open, so they can someday prove you right. It is a reward for both of you, and for the world.

Conservative friends, conservative loved ones, I truly do understand why you might be skeptical of leftist and liberal talking points. I understand why you give ICE and DHS the benefit of the doubt. In all likelihood, you really want to believe that the violence, detention and family separation you see in Minnesota are necessary. I don’t think you’re trying to “justify” ICE actions, but looking for confirmation that your government ISN'T doing this just because…they can. They want to. There’s got to be something “good” happening that’s just out of view, some great justice that’s happening, that makes the death and the cruelty “worth it” somehow. Right?

I spent a lot of my early adult life being cruel to myself, and I always found ways to justify it. So I get it. I understand why you like and love Trump. I understand thinking, “I’m scared of this person, or this thing, but I also think it could protect me.”

What I think it comes down to is this. Yes: I disagree with a lot of my neighbors about our foundational principles and the way they should be upheld. But right now the government is displaying that they don’t put ANY weight on ANY law. They value force, more than anything. And can’t we all come together to be mad about THAT? Whoever you are, reading this, I am probably not on the same page as you about a lot of things. But we’re probably on the same page about this: nobody deserves to be shot in the street by their government. So, let’s start there.

If we know each other and you want to talk to me about this, send me a DM. Especially if you’re a conservative, or you’re not really a conservative, but you feel weird about your most recent vote. Or you didn’t vote and you feel weird about that. I will meet you where you are, brain-wise, and we can talk about it. I can’t promise I won’t be mad at you, or disappointed in you. But, guys, we need to stop fearing each other’s anger and disappointment, and our own. If we don’t know each other, and you need to talk to someone about what you’re feeling, start with the person you would talk to about this, if you had an opening. Message them and say “This lady wrote a long-ass nagging post about politics, and I want to talk to someone about it.” That’s your entry point.

What I’m asking you to do is boring, annoying, frustrating and sad. I’m asking you to hold real, empathetic conversations with people who have incompatible worldviews. If you’re left-wing, I’m asking you to do a LOT of educational and emotional work that may see no reward. I’m asking you to increase your stress levels in a stressful, dangerous time, and also open yourself up to saying “I’m wrong” about people you know and causes you support. If you’re right-wing, I’m asking you to go outside your civic comfort zone, vote for different candidates than you usually would, and put some of your own values on the backburner, probably to protect people who don’t live anywhere near you. If you don’t really have a strong political identity, I’m asking you to cultivate one, and offering support. None of this has to be forever. But I do think it has to be right now. It’s urgent that you and I both change things, now.

The way we live is not aligned with the way we govern. We have to change the way we govern ourselves. We have to change the way we interact with each other, and how we approach our local, state and federal governments. We really know very little about one another’s beliefs, and people in positions of power are taking advantage of that. The only people who have any power to fix this are us. That sucks! That’s a huge responsibility. But at least we share it.

America is not a resource to be guarded. It is an idea to be shared. I still think it’s a good idea, and I think we can make it better. I’m going to end with four really easy things you can do right now, if you agree with me.

*Non-monetary: Use the website 5calls to make calls to your representatives. There are scripts you can use and tweak as you see necessary. As your reps to push for a stop on ICE funding, and to pressure ICE/the DHS to cease aggressive actions in Minnesota and nationwide.

https://5calls.org/dashboard/

*Can be monetary, can be non-monetary: Subscribe to the Minnesota Star Tribune, read the e-edition (which I believe is free without a subscription) or get their email newsletters. There’s paid content, and there’s non-paid content. This is a great way to hear about what’s happening in Minnesota, from local media. If you genuinely care about other stories in the region, like the fraud cases which are part of the reason DHS turned its attention to MN, you should subscribe; while those fraud cases reached the national stage in December 2025, the Star Tribune has been reporting on them since 2023.  http://startribune.com/ 

*Monetary: Support Haven Watch, an organization which provides immediate assistance to people who are arrested and released by ICE in Minnesota. Protestors and those detained for immigration investigations are often released without any of their belongings—coats, phones, wallets, or ways of finding transportation. Haven Watch helps them get home. https://www.gofundme.com/f/safe-haven-immediate-assistance-for-released-individuals?

*Monetary: Contribute to Faith in Minnesota. This is a multifaith org which supports disruptive, but nonviolent protest actions by faith leaders. If you’ve seen footage of clergy staging sit-ins in Minnesota, you’ve seen some of these folks. Their parent organization, ISAIAH, is also centered around faith communities; they support legislative actions for healthcare access, public safety and economic well-being. https://faithinmn.org/

It is not too late to do the right thing. It is never too late to do the right thing. And the earlier you do the right thing, the easier it is to do. The world asks a lot from us. But it rarely asks for radical compassion, radical kindness. You should start giving those things anyway. Try; it’s hard. But with repeated effort, you will get used to it. Being compassionate is hard and sucks. The only way to make it any easier is to make it a habit.